February 2009 Archives

nadya suleman

As I'm sure you and the rest of the world have heard, the world's largest adult film producer Vivid Entertainment (who has brought you the classic films Where The Boys Aren't and Savanna's Been Blackmaled) supposedly offered Nadya Suleman a million dollar contract in order to become a Vivid Girl and make a few movies with them. No word on if she took the offer yet or not, but then the adult film company Pink Visual threw its hat in the ring with a counter-offer for the mother of 14.

TMZ.com got their hands on a copy of the letter Pink Visual's president Kim Kysar sent to the OctoMom. In it, Kim, on behalf of Pink Visual, offers Nadya a year's worth of cloth diapers if she opts not to star in any pornographic films for Vivid. Kim wrote:

As you know, there's a great deal of stigma attached to being a porn star. It's not something a mother should take lightly, as this decision will most assuredly affect the lives of your children, and not in a positive way.

By way of a counter-offer, Pink Visual will underwrite the purchase of a full year's worth of diapers for your octuplets. It's not a million dollars, but accepting our offer will directly benefit your children in two ways: they will be assured of having clean, dry diapers, and their mother will not become the subject of endless ridicule and scorn.

Hmm... porn or diapers? Porn or diapers? If I had a nickel for every time someone had to choose between the two! This should be an easy decision for someone who relied on donated breast milk in order to feed her children in their first few days of life. Oh wait, she does want to buy that $1.24 million house in Whittier. Decisions, decisions.

Adding a little Harry Potter to the mix makes any day better. Especially when that little bit of Harry Potter is a featurette for a movie that should have come out ages ago, and for which I jump up and down for in anticipation regularly.

This book was one of my favorites. Lots of time at Hogwarts, Voldy's backstory, love potions. Even my toes are giving out a little *squee*.

July hurry up and get here already! Also, 2010 you can hurry your sweet little ass up too. I want to go to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter to see about a new wand. Ravenclaw represent!

Slumdog Kid Has a Mean Dad

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azharuddin.jpg

Azharuddin Mohammed, that cute, cute, cute kid from Slumdog Millionaire who you saw walking the red carpet just a few days ago got a welcome home beat-down by his father. According to The Sun Azharuddin's father beat the cutie-pie for wanting to rest rather than be put on display outside his home.

Azharuddin yelped out as he tried to evade the older man's flailing hands and feet. He dashed into the tent that makes up his family home, followed by his father, where the young Slumdog star tried to cower in the corner. Azharuddin grabbed his face in pain and then ran off to cry. “Azharruddin’s father was upset that he was asking to be left alone because he was tired,” said one shocked onlooker. “He didn’t attend school today so that he could recover from his long flight from LA and simply wanted all the attention to stop."

Really, that poor kid, to come home from The Oscars to a tent and a pissed off father. No worries though, I'm sure Brad and Angie are already booked for the next flight to Mumbai.

And also, probably a bad time to mention this, but that blue sari right there... I want it.

Jimmy Kimmel's Clip Slip

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Calista Flockhart was the guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night. As they always do on these shows, a clip is about to be shown of whatever the actor or actress is plugging and the guest is asked to set it up. Only Jimmy didn't ask Calista to set the clip up, he was interested in something a little closer to downtown. Hilarity ensued.

Trashiest Person Ever!

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janice-amy-lindsay

Recipe for the trashiest person ever.

4 cups Lindsay Lohan
3 Tbsp. Janice Dickinson
add Amy Winehouse's tattoos to taste

Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer until a nice white powder crust forms on top. Let sit 5 days or until moldy. Viola, dinner is served!

New Wolverine Poster

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The new international movie poster for X-Men Origins: Wolverine is out. Hugh Jackman's shirt seems awfully white for him to be out in a skank-ass field with his claws all ready to go. Maybe that's just me, but it bugs. And those jeans, seriously Wolv, did you just come form the mens department at Macy's or what?

In case you don't' read French, that says April 29th.

Jewel

ABC's Dancing With The Stars is already hurting people and the season hasn't even started yet. "Jupiter" singer and DWTS contestant Jewel hurt her left knee dancing during rehearsals for the show this week. Her doctor told her she has tendonitis which, let me tell you, hurts like a bitch. Jewel wrote on her offical blog:

I guess I really over did it on the rehearsal front! My knees have been hurting so badly that I finally broke down and talked to Ty's knee doctor yesterday. He said I have tendonitis in my knees and that I have to start a course of medicine to try and bring the swelling down. Yuck! It's mainly my left knee, and I can't believe I hurt it so badly... Ty warned me I was over doing it, and now he got a big ol' 'I told you so' in. The worst part is that I can't rehearse for the next couple days. It was just so fun to dance 8 hours a day- especially considering I only had 3 weeks to cram not only for my first dance- cha cha, but to learn the fundamentals of about 6 other dances that I will have to know. But now I'm just worried I won't even be able to dance! Hopefully these steroids will really do the trick and I can keep bad flare ups at a bay in the future.

Ty refers to Ty Murray, Jewel's husband and partner for over ten years. Ty is also a contestant this season. I hope he's giving her a very serious talking to because I WILL NOT HAVE ANYONE RUIN THIS SEASON OF DWTS FOR ME, you hear me Jewel! I was actually banking on her to go pretty far, and now the bitch gets tendonitis? Old Lady Carlisle isn't getting my votes, and Steve-O is gonna be gone after 3 episodes (my prediction) so who's left to take it to the end... that cyborg Lil' Kim? Steve Wozniak? You've got to be kidding me.

Here's hoping Jewel pours the steroids down her throat and gets better soon. Two weeks is a long time in the medicinal world.

K-Fed Baby Clothes

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kevin federline

Britney Spears' ex-husband, the Popozao himself, Kevin Federline is designing a line of children's clothes. WWD Fashion quotes K-Fed as saying "It’s a really tough business, I’m trying to take it seriously and make a quality product for kids but not have parents pay like $500 or something ridiculous for a pair of jeans."

$500 is ridiculous! I wouldn't have my kids running in around in $500 rags! Oh wait, he meant that was too much money. My bad.

"You buy your kids a pair of True Religions then they roll around in the dirt like kids do and a $200 pair of jeans is gone. With this economy, I’m looking to do something much more reasonable."

It's hard to rag on the guy because he's right, but come on, have you even been to the IE Kevin? You do meth right, of course you have! $200 could clothe a family of 5 out there. Trying to appeal to people about the economy by talking about jeans that most people can't afford is ridic.

Stick to rapping. It's funnier.

Rihanna Might be Pregnant

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Rihanna might be pregnant with Chris Brown's baby. So says Star Magazine so take that how you will.

"Close friends" (read: people hanging around the hospital) of Rihanna claim the "Umbrella" singer consulted an ob-gyn at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles just before her now famous altercation with boyfriend Chris Brown. These "close friends" say that she was afraid Chris would react badly to the news of a pregnancy. No kidding?

An eyewitness in the doctor's office said "She was extremely fidgety. She seemed totally uncomfortable." I'd like to see anyone who's all comfy cool at the gyno. That place is never a good time!

Hungry Monster

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hungry-monster

So you've seen this hilarious Weight Watcher's commercial, right? The one with the orange hungry monster who uses a pizza box as a laptop. I honestly cannot stop laughing whenever it comes on. The little trumpet he has with that cake, get out of town! I want a pizza box skin for my laptop now.

I also really want a hungry monster doll. And, would you know it, you can actually buy one. A little Google-Fu brought me to KnittyKrissy's Etsy shop where not only does she have a fuzzy fleece monster available, but also the hungry monster on a key chain. Shut up! I wish all the commercials I love were available for purchase. Oh wait... they are? Commercials sell stuff, ok, I'm just confused now. But he's there in the picture with some M&M's, and that's all that matters.

Here's the commercial in question, in case you haven't' seen it.

And just in case the hungry monster did manage to attack you, she's got felt peanut butter and jelly sandwiches too. Shut up with the cute!

Lots of Morrissey

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Lots of Morrissey. For absolutely no reason.

No, I'm a liar, there is a reason. Rl337 was not too happy with my dancing around Virgin Megastore to Morrissey's "November Spawned a Monster" last night. Perhaps I agree. It isn't quite the same without an unbuttoned black mesh shirt. So since my Moz fix wasn't quite completely satisfied, you all have to suffer.

morrissey

moz in the pool

morrissey

moz

stephen patrick

moz

you are the quarry

morrissey

November Spawned A Monster - Morrissey

Rest assured, I am dancing just like that right this very moment. Band-aid on the nipple and all. The neighbors love me.

Flo Rida's "Right Round"

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Flo Rida, who coincidentally enough is from Florida (go figure) has just released the new music video for his single "Right Round". It samples "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)" from 80's new wavers Dead or Alive. That's Ke$ha you hear singing the chorus, and yes, this song is about exactly what you think it's about.

Boring video, but it's a fun song to drive to. Enjoy.

If you aren't watching "RuPaul’s Drag Race", you aren't living. It's Logo's reality show with drag queens, think of it as a cross between America's Next Top Model and the crazy colorful dreams you have when you are coming down off a good acid trip. With lip-syncing!

The challenge on last night's episode was to create a campaign for Mac's Viva Glam makeup. The proceeds of that line go to an HIV and AIDS fund. Spoiler alert: Ongina wins the challenge. And yes, that rhymes with vagina. Do you see what I'm telling you when I say you miss RuPaul's Drag Race, you miss out!

Ongina loses her shit on TV, breaking the news to a stone-face RuPaul that she has been living with HIV for 2 years, and her parents "doesn't know". All for Viva Glam!

Best quote of the whole entire clip? Nina saying "Ongina has balls..."

Set your TiVo for Logo on Mondays! That Paul Stanley Kiss star isn't going to laugh at itself.

robert smith

In a recent interview with Music Radar chubby lipstick loving Robert Smith says some very mean things about Radiohead.

Speaking on Radiohead's recent pay-what-you-want release of their album "In Rainbows", Robert had quite a bit to say.

"The Radiohead experiment of paying what you want - I disagreed violently with that. You can't allow other people to put a price on what you do, otherwise you don't consider what you do to have any value at all and that's nonsense. If I put a value on my music and no one's prepared to pay that, then more fool me, but the idea that the value is created by the consumer is an idiot plan, it can't work."

Incidentally, "In Rainbows" hit #1 in the US, while The Cure's last album blew its load at #16.

Let me just get my "fuck you" out of the way. I love you and all Robert, but we want to hear you sing and play guitar, not talk.

Happy Birthday Billy Zane

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billy zane

Billy Zane, that asshole Cal Hockley from Titanic, is celebrating his 43rd birthday today. He's going to be in a few upcoming films, notably Magic Man and Mama I Want To Sing later this year. Hope he's out celebrating with a nice cognac, a cigar and maybe a swim around the pool. Relax, Billy, you've been working a lot lately. Forget mardi gras.

And here's a silly fan vid I found on You Tube to help Billy celebrate his birthday, some of his Titanic scenes set to Britney Spears' song "Gimmie More". Because really, it has been long enough, we can all agree that this was a silly movie right?

Lady Soverign is wearing a very cute t-shirt that I wouldn't mind owning in her new music video for "So Human". She heavily, heavily samples The Cure's "Close To Me". The world's biggest Simon Gallup fan in me cringes in repulsion that such a classic is being butchered in this way, but then again, eh, it's kind of a little maybe a bit cute. I'll let it slide if she brings back the side ponytail.

Much, much better than "I Got You Dancing". And I mean it about that yellow and white shirt. Sov, call me!

Enjoy.

Lady Sovereign - So Human

Two and a Half Ugly Shirts

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charlie sheen's shirts

Do you like drinking beer, watching crappy television sitcoms and cooking up conspiracy theories? Is dressing like one of the Pin Pals from The Simpsons your idea of a good time? Well then my friend you are in luck!

Two and a Half Men's Charlie Sheen is coming out with a line of casual shirts inspired by 1950s rockabilly culture. Daily News describes the shirts as having agoya shell buttons, retro patterns and contrasting color combos and costing from $59 to $79. Charlie showed off the line at MAGIC in Las Vegas last week. Rosa from ohsorad describes them as looking pukey.

Wanna own one, you shut-in you? Joke's on you they aren't out yet. But bookmark this page and soon you'll be the epitome of fashion. Nyuck nyuck nycuk.

skinny lindsay lohan

In a plot to keep Skinny Bone Jones from scaring people at the Academy Awards last night, whatever handlers Lindsay Lohan has left shipped her off to the Mercedes-Benz Oscar Party in Beverly Hills instead. the "actress" looked like she was on a good one! No bra, completely forgot to run a comb through her ratty hair and clearly she thought it was a toga party. And you can't tell me that's not the face of someone mixing NyQuil and Metabolife. Bitch is a hot mess.

How does she even find bracelets to fit her anymore? Her arms have a circumference roughly equal to a bookmark, so I suppose it's possible she's been dressing up her twigs with those beaded book thongs in the checkout line at Borders. It really is a shame that Lindsay will never get back to looking as good as she did during her Mean Girls days.

When the hell is her movie Labor Pains coming out? Never? That's probably for the best.

A Baby Girl for Melanie C.

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melanie c

Former Sporty Spice Girl Melanie Chisholm gave birth to a baby girl while the rest of us were all caught up in the Oscars. Scarlett Star was born at 4:10 PM yesterday and weight 8lbs. 3oz, as announced on Melanie's official website.

This is the first child for both Melanie and longtime boyfriend Thomas Starr She also marks the last of the Spice Girls to become a mother.

Congratulations Melanie!

Post Oscar Drama

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slumdog millionaire

best supporting actress - Penelope Cruz

best original screenplay - Milk

adapted screenplay - Slumdog Millionaire

animated feature - Wall-E

animated short film - Le Maison en Petite Cubes

art direction - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

costume desgin - The Duchess

makeup - The Curious Care of Benjamin Button

cinematography - Slumdog Millionaire

live action short film - Spielzeugland (Toyland)

documentary feature - Man on Wire

documentary short - Smile Pinki

supporting actor - Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)

visual effects - The Curious Care of Benjamin Button

sound editing - The Dark Knight

sound mixing - Slumdog Millionaire

film editing - Slumdog Millionaire

music score - Slumdog Millionaire

original song - Slumdog Millionaire

foreign language film - Departures (Japan)

director - Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire

actress in a leading role - Kate Winslet for The Reader

actor in a leading role - Sean Penn for Milk

best picture - Slumdog Millionaire

nicole and harlow

What does Joel Madden have to say these days? Well, his girlfriend Nicole Richie is pregnant again, for starters!

On his official Good Charlotte blog, Joel wrote "What's better than winning an Oscar? I am so happy to tell everyone that Harlow is going to be a big sister! God has truly blessed my family. Hope your all feeling as good as i am right now........."

The couple's daughter Harlow was born on January 11, 2008, and Nicole and Joel have been together for about two and half years. Lots and lots of congratulations going out to them!

rumer willis

It's got to be rough to be Rumer Willis. You've got a pretty re re name because your parents wanted to show the world how smart they are, and you've got a chin that the whole world makes fun of. She knows it. When Rumer made People magazine's Most Beautiful People List, even she said "After being compared to Jay Leno for so long, you don't think of yourself in that way."

She has no idea what she'll look like when she gets older because her mother has had enough plastic surgery to legally be a cyborg. She's got an ugly tattoo, a complete douchebag step-dad who's only 11 years older than her, got called out on National TV for slouching and the poor thing grew up in Idaho of all places. Then, she gets cast opposite Caroline D'Amore in Sorority Row.

And on top of all that, let's not forget Rumer's hair. It makes me make a sad, sad face.

So in the face of things, when you are feeling down and blue and all those things that make you make a sad, sad face just remember that you aren't Rumer Willis. Chances are your parents aren't acting like 12 years olds on Twitter on a daily basis. Rumer's are.

Seriously, I'd take this girl out for a drink if I could. You think she likes Sidecars? When she turns 21 of course!

Last of the English Roses

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Here is the official music video for Peter Doherty's "Last of the English Roses". I think he's kinda yucky, but understanding that other peeps do not (like my gross sister Liz) I post it for y'all. The things I do, sheesh.

Though, the last 15 seconds or so are pretty interesting...

Pete's new album will be in stores on March 16th.

danica mckellar

Winnie Cooper is getting married! Danica McKellar, the 34 years old actress who played Kevin Arnold's love interest on The Wonder Years back in the day is getting married next month. OK! Magazine says that Danica has been dating her fiance, composer Mike Verta, since 2001 and they are ready to tie the knot next month.

The date is set for march 22, 2009 at La Jolla Beach & Tennis Club in California. Swanky!

Danica is also a super genius and the author of the books "Math Doesn't Suck" and "Kiss My Math". If you purchase 5 books from her website to donate to a local library, she'll autograph one just for you. No fooling. I wonder how many book purchases it would take for her to get back together with Fred Savage? Kevin and Winnie, OTP for life!

Did she grow up gorgeous or what? Jesus H. Christ.

taylordayne.jpg

Celebrity Baby Blog is bringing us the story of 80's pop star Taylor Dane and her use of a surrogate in order to become a mother.

Taylor had several failed relationships and feeling her biological clock ticking, she was thinking about adoption but then a friend mentioned that you could "rent a womb" through surrogacy, and the rest is history.

Her twins, Astaria and Levi, are now 6 years old, and why this is being brought up now, who knows. But everyone loves babies. Everyone the the 80's. We combine the two and we all win.

Of new parents Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell, Taylor says "They're going to be just fine. There's a lot of love over there."

Happy Birthday Rihanna

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rihanna

It probably isn't the happiest of days for little bb Rihanna, but here's wishing her a happy birthday anyway. The "Umbrella" singer celebrates her 21st birthday today, just one day after the photo of her injuries from the alleged altercation with Chris Brown leaked online. Here's to a speedy recovery and happier times. Cake and booze, hey, sounds good to me!

Happy birthday Rihanna.

Lily Flakes

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We are going to start a fun thing called Photoshop Friday. It's Friday, something that was done in Photoshop is posted, fun for all.

Today brings you Lily Flakes! Because I love Lily. And because everyone could use a little Lily Allen in the morning.

lily allen cereal

ny post cartoon

There was a cartoon in the NY Post, seen right there, that is very easy to see as highly offensive. Editor Col Allan has defended the cartoon by saying "The cartoon is a clear parody of a current news event, to wit the shooting of a violent chimpanzee in Connecticut. It broadly mocks Washington's efforts to revive the economy. Again, Al Sharpton reveals himself as nothing more than a publicity opportunist." You know, and does not President Obama. *cough*

Rev. Al Sharpton, who called the cartoon "troubling at best" isn't the only one seeing the racism hidden in plain sight.

"Green Light" singer John Legend ain't havin it! He wrote an open letter to the editor of The Post, and here's what he had to say.

Dear Editor:

I'm trying to understand what possible motivation you may have had for publishing that vile cartoon depicting the shooting of the chimpanzee that went crazy. I guess you thought it would be funny to suggest that whomever was responsible for writing the Economic Recovery legislation must have the intelligence and judgment of a deranged, violent chimpanzee, and should be shot to protect the larger community. Really? Did it occur to you that this suggestion would imply a connection between President Barack Obama and the deranged chimpanzee? Did it occur to you that our President has been receiving death threats since early in his candidacy? Did it occur to you that blacks have historically been compared to various apes as a way of racist insult and mockery? Did you intend to invoke these painful themes when you printed the cartoon?

If that's not what you intended, then it was stupid and willfully ignorant of you not to connect these easily connectable dots. If it is what you intended, then you obviously wanted to be grossly provocative, racist and offensive to the sensibilities of most reasonable Americans. Either way, you should not have printed this cartoon, and the fact that you did is truly reprehensible. I can't imagine what possible justification you have for this. I've read your lame statement in response to the outrage you provoked. Shame on you for dodging the real issue and then using the letter as an opportunity to attack Rev. Sharpton. This is not about Rev. Sharpton. It's about the cartoon being blatantly racist and offensive.

I believe in freedom of speech, and you have every right to print what you want. But freedom of speech still comes with responsibilities and consequences. You are responsible for printing this cartoon, and I hope you experience some real consequences for it. I'm personally boycotting your paper and won't do any interviews with any of your reporters, and I encourage all of my colleagues in the entertainment business to do so as well. I implore your advertisers to seriously reconsider their business relationships with you as well.

You should print an apology in your paper acknowledging that this cartoon was ignorant, offensive and racist and should not have been printed.

I'm well aware of our country's history of racism and violence, but I truly believe we are better than this filth. As we attempt to rise above our difficult past and look toward a better future, we don't need the New York Post to resurrect the images of Jim Crow to deride the new administration and put black folks in our place. Please feel free to criticize and honestly evaluate our new President, but do so without the incendiary images and rhetoric.

Sincerely,
John Legend

Rihanna Post Chris Brown

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If you didn't hate Chris Brown before, you might wanna start now...

battered rihanna

Gossip website TMZ just posted this picture of Rihanna after the alleged fight with boyfriend Chris Brown on their website. Poor little thing. Keeping in mind that no one knows all of the details just yet, this photo is really terrible.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, please speak up and get yourself some help.

Kid Cudi's "Day N Nite"

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Kid Cudi's song "Day N Nite" has been out forever. I could swear I heard this shit in early 1998. So he finally got around to making an official music video for it, thank goodness, since everyone and their mother has seen the Crookers Remix video. This one is much better.

I would recommended against watching if you recently took any hallucinogens. Enjoy.

A Big Bow On Halle Berry

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halle berry

I kid you not when i say that nothing makes me *squee* with delight more than dresses with huge there-for-no-reason bows on the back. It's like a crazy huge present and a dress and you being fabulous all rolled into one. If it sparkles, even better! Which is why I absolutely love this picture of Halle Berry at the Essence Magazine Black Woman in Hollywood Awards Luncheon.

Her ass is looking a little weird. Flat? I don't know, could just be the material. I hope so, because nothing will ruin this gigantic bow moment for me. Yeah yeah her hair looks and great and the bitch has flawless skin, but you guys, did you see the bow? Precious!

Jonathan Roberts and Belinda Carlisle

When did Belinda Carlisle become the crazy down the street whose yard no one dares tread in? I've seen her on a few NutriSystem commercials, and she looks ok, a little like a reformed junkie, but that's what she is right? There honestly isn't a day that goes by where I'm not totally blasting "Our Lips Are Sealed". But omg, in this promo pic for the upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars she looks certifiably insane.

First of all, someone forgot to hem her dress, and bitch still wore it to a photoshoot. Second, the Grandma Dress, really? I could mention how her face and her neck are two completely different colors, but we'll just go with a very strange hairline and wayyyyy to much Botox for a combo number three.

DWTS Season 8 starts Monday March 9th.

You can see the rest of the promo pics over at ONTD. Just be sure not to hit a ball into Old Lady Carlisle's yard. I heard she likes to boil children for soup stock.

New Girl For Kanye West?

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kanye and amber

Has Kanye West finally found a woman who can just let him be great? The "Love Lockdown" singer has been spotted repeatedly with model Amber Rose in New York at Fashion Week. You'd think that with a cutie on his arm Kanye could turn that frown upside down for a few minutes at least. No matter what you say, that's not a smile.

Amber is rumored to be good friends with Rihanna.

NSFW-ish pic of the model after the jump.

Pamela Anderson Is Gross.

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pam anderson

Pamela Anderson walked the runway at Richie Richs NYC Fashion Week show last night.

Drugs are bad, kids.

Baby Charlie Axel Woods

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tiger woods and his new baby charlie

World, meet Charlie Woods. He's Tiger Woods' ten day old baby boy, and he made his debut today on Golf magazine's website. This picture couldn't be any cuter if there were Care Bears and baby pumpkins with googly eyes in it.

This is the second child for Tiger and his wife, model Elin Nordegren.

Ovaries ready to explode in 3..2..1....

Lily Allen on Ellen

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Could Lily Allen have looked any prettier on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today? The answer is no, of course not. Lily and Ellen took to the bathroom to sing "Womanizer" from Britney's Album "Circus". The clip is the epitome of cute. Enjoy.

mollyr.jpg

Happy birthday to Molly Ringwald! Everyone's favorite ginger 80's actress celebrates her 41st today. Who doesn't love Pretty in Pink? You? GTFO then, non Pretty in Pink fans are not welcome here. Yes she should have ended up with Duckie, but hey he got Kristy Swanson in the end so it's all good.

Happy, happy birthday Molly. Not even kidding when I say you starred in almost all of my favorite movies from the 80's.

Kim Kardashian, Nicky Hilton, Paris Hilton

I am no expert on body language, but you pretty much don't need to be to know what's going on in this picture of Kim Kardashian, Nicky Hilton and Paris Hilton during fashion Week in New York yesterday. Puke on the matching jackets, but more importantly, could Kim and Nicky be sitting any further away from each other while still sitting right next to each other?

Rumor has it that the tension actually got so thick it killed three runway models.

steven patrick morrissey

Dear Morrissey,

I love you. I love your voice and your face and your new album.

Your girl,
Rosa

The trailer for Michael Bay's Transformers sequel Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has been released. Starring Shia LaBeouf, Rainn Wilson, Megan Fox and Josh Duhamel, seriously, there hasn't been a douchier cast since Ocean's Thirteen. But everyone's got their panties up in a twist over this movie, so here you go. Wake me up when Shia stops looking like a weasel.

Vicky's Moving!

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victoria beckham

OK, who's been praying for Victoria Beckham to pack up her clan and get the hell out of California? You? Me? All of us? Because it worked! Go us!

Seems like Mrs. Plastiboobs has OK'd the move from Los Angeles to Milan in order for her husband David Beckham to play for AC Milan. For those of us in America, that's an Italian soccer team. A source told The Sun "David probably only has a few seasons left in him and if he wants to keep his England place and maybe play in another World Cup he must compete at the top level. Victoria can see that now — and after his career ends they can settle anywhere they want."

Apparently David has been taking Italian lessons so he can better talk to his soon-to-be teammates. I wonder how you say "horrendous breast implants" and "Hey bitch, smile once in a while!" in Italian.

adriana lime as amy

This is supermodel Adriana Lima dressed up as the queen of my heart Amy Winehouse. The photo shoot for Love Magazine got all of Amy's tattoo's wrong, but I suppose that was on purpose since the magazine is named "Love" and there are clearly some hearts visible.

Looking good Amy. Err... Adriana. Whoever. I'm confused. Bitch better show up for Coachella, that's all I know.

justin timberlake

Good 'ole GQ Magazine has named Justin Timberlake the most stylish man in America. Not everyone can rock a box on his crotch or a black leotard for Beyoncé the way JT can, so the honor was totally inevitable.

GQ picked Justin because of his "knack for targeting trends" such as skinny ties (note: eww), hats and beards (note again: eww).

Kanye West, T.I. and total little hottie Jason Schwartzman also made the list.

jt single ladies

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A Jabbawockeez Shaq Attack

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Shaquille O'Neal performed with the dance crew Jabbawockeez at the NBA All-Stars this weekend. Here's a video for you. In case you need a little help picking him out, he's the one that's 19 feet tall with the mask that's way too small for his face.

rihanna and chris brown

Chris Brown released a a statement, via his publicist, a week after his arrest for assault on his girlfriend Rihanna.

“Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person. Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong."

Meaning that he did not write the Facebook status everyone was talking about, and Leona Lewis was most likely not involved. Chris' court date of March 6th isn't that far away, and new details are sure to emerge at that time. Until then... his Got Milk? ad has been suspended, his Wrigley's gum ad has been pulled and the Sesame Street episode on which he appeared will no longer air.

Shawty Get Loose, indeed!

barbie paris

Paris Hilton, whose birthday is on February 17th, threw herself a Barbie themed party to celebrate making it to 28 years old. The socialite dressed up in what looked to be a bedspread with "Barbie" printed all over it in her Los Angeles home Friday night, and made all her guests wear pink in order to get in. No mention if her champagne in a can was served or not.

A cute idea for a party if you are turning maybe, but at the age of 28 let's just assume that this is what hell looks like. Paris Hilton in a Barbie dress and everyone else looking like they swam in a Pepto Bismol pool.

Happy Birthday (on Tuesday) Paris Hilton. Someone is burning that dress today, right?

paris hilton in pink

Pics from Johnny Makeup's Facebook profile.

Lil Mama "Truly In Love"

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19 year old America's Best Dance Crew judge Lil Mama has a brand new song out for Valentine's Day called "Truly In Love". Ya know, f you are into rap and Fanny Pack and Valentine's Day, and can look at Lil Mama without getting "Lip Gloss" stuck in your head. It's poppin!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm just excited to see Fanny Pack in the video. They are totes fun, got to meet them last year. Pic after the jump.

A Baby Boy for M.I.A.

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preggers m.i.a.

"Paper Planes" singer M.I.A. gave birth to her first child, a baby boy, on February 12th. Her and the father Benjamin Brewer, of the band The Exit, couldn't be any happier. M.I.A. recently told Desi Hits "It doesn't matter to me if it's a boy or a girl. If it's a girl she will be a tough girl, but I think I may have a boy because I have a pointy stomach." Looks like she was right!

Congratulations to M.I.A. Her child shares a birthday with Abe Lincoln, Christina Ricci, Charles Darwin and, of course, me.

Tara Reid's Mantra

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tara reid

Tara Reid is all sober now, meaning she'll be much less entertaining. After telling In Touch Weekly that "Rehab saved my life. Before I used to think about tomorrow and I hated it. Now I can't wait because I am clean and sober and I am excited," Tara is now going to focus on designing a clothing line.

Called Mantra, a preview of the fashion will be revealed at the Project Show in Las Vegas on February 18th.

"I designed everything, and I am really proud of it. I didn”t know I had it in me."

As far as anyone knew all Tara Reid had in her was sake bombs and the occasional Flaming Doctor Pepper. If designing keeps her sober though, more power to her.

mo'nique's legs

There are plenty of times when it's cool not to shave your legs. You've been sick or it's red week, but walking the red carpet definitely is not one of them. Comedienne Mo'Nique gave her razor a break last night at the 40th NAACP Image Awards in Los Angeles. Wearing a red dress and a buffalo pelt on her legs, she posed for photogs before the show. From the looks of it, she hasn't Epiladied is quite a while.

This is not the first time Mo'Nique has showed off her love of the natural. At the 2009 Black Movie Awards she showed off her hairy trunks on the red carpet as well.

Here's the full outfit, in case you were wondering what went well with red shoes and obliviousness.

mo'nique

Johnny Rico Child Abuse PSA

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Would you like to know more?

Good ole Casper Van Dien. He knows what he's famous for and he goes with it. The way Bob Denver will always be Gilligan and Faith No More had that "It's it, what is it?!?" song, Casper is the guy from that movie with space bugs and Dina Meyer's boobs, Starship Troopers. The man could star in a Batman vs. Aquaman vs. Hulk Hogan in Atlantis opera, and he'd still just be Johnny Rico.

With that in mind, he decided to put on a costume from Starship Troopers and film a PSA about how it's bad to beat your kids. Because nothing says "Save the Children" like war in space.

Bumpy Belly on Kate Moss

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kate moss

Stepping out after dinner in London early this morning, supermodel Kate Moss showed off what looked to be the beginnings of a baby bump. Or too much gnocchi, but we'll go with baby bump because that's a lot more fun. Rumors have been going around for months that Kate is pregnant.

Normally rail thin, Kate stepped out in a (hideous) see-through pantsuit while dining with her boyfriend Jamie Hince at The Ivy last night. We all know how moms-to-be like to show off their preggo tummies, just ask Octomom. According to UK's Daily Mail one source said "Tonight was a celebratory dinner to announce her pregnancy." Well there you go.

35 year old Kate already has one daughter, 7 year old Lila Grace.

Strategies for getting laid by relative likelyness

I've noticed a trend where more and more single folk I know have begun spending Valentine's Day going out with increasingly large groups of platonic, often same gender friends.  How many evites, facebook events, or random invitation emails have you gotten for these things?

I think it's just social aspects of evolution.  Maybe it's defensive schooling or herding instinct, or perhaps ingrained pack hunting skills.  Who knows.  Just remember to drink less than the person you're buying drinks for... unless you like waking up the next day with strangers in your bed.

Nightmare-Kate Olsen

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marykate.jpg

Mary-Kate Olsen continues on her quest to give the world bad dreams. This is her in the March issue of Interview magazine They also did a strange little music video of her photoshoot, just to make sure you do not sleep soundly tonight.

She said some stuff in an interview with Christopher Bollen, apparently done on President Obama's inauguration day, because change has come and troll opinions are now relevant. Words , stuff, words, words, stuff. Point is, she's dressing in all white and looks terrifying.

Sweet dreams.

ashton's twitter

Not only is Ashton Kutcher a whiny famewhore. He chooses to Twitter about his life so everyone knows how annoying it is to be so famous. Presently he is staying in the hotel room in Berlin where Michael Jackson famously hung his child out of the window. He (presumably) called the paparazzi to let them know he's planning a re-enactment of the incident, and yet complains when the paparazzi are there.

Fucking moron. And Demi Moore, really. She's what, 114 years old? I know plastic surgery has done wonders for the woman but did they insert the brain of a pre-pubescent boy in her head while they were at it? Here's a thought Wonder Twins... you want people to leave you alone? Stop Twittering and letting everyone know what you are doing 24-7.

Ashton went off the other day in a blog post on his myspace about how no one picks up the stories about the good he and his grandma-wife do in the world of philanthropy. This is why. The Michael Jackson baby out the window joke is so 7 years ago. We're supposed to take you seriously? Pfft!

jennifer aniston

Jennifer Aniston celebrated her 40th birthday today. Normally this would result in a nod and a yawn, but the Aquarian has been all over the place yacking about how it's her 40th birthday, so I'm throwing the chick a bone and saying she looks great. But... we're all tired of this hair, yes? Maybe a nice Hershey chocolate brown and a lack of layers would look amazing, but whatever she likes I guess. Like I said, a nod and a yawn.

Happy birthday Jennifer Aniston.

michelleobamavogue.jpg

We have a pretty kick ass First Lady. Just sayin. Michelle Obama appears on the cover of the March issue of Vogue magazine in a pink dress designed by Jason Wu. He's the same guy that designed her white inauguration gown. Annie Leibovitz gets photo credit, though let's be honest, as far as portraits go we've all seen better.

Speaking of the new spotlight on her fashion choices, Michelle said "In the end, someone will always not like what you wear — people just have different tastes."

Michelle Obama is the second First Lady to appear on the cover of Vogue, the first being now present Secretary of State Hilary Clinton in December of 1998.

lily allen

I literally cannot stop listening to this song. Lily Allen's "Fuck You" is my new anthem. It's on her new album "It's Not Me, It's you" which was released today. I want this for my ringtone, my alarm clock, my email alert, my voicemail, and I want it to play when I honk the horn on my car. Very, very much. Enjoy!

mandy moore

Singer and actress Mandy Moore is going to have to take "fashionista" off her resume. She announced this week that she is shutting down her clothing line Mblem, which was started back in 2005.

Mandy told Women's Wear Daily"I love the fashion world. I’m fascinated by it. I’m humbled by it. If I were to dip my toe back in there, it would have to be the right situation ... a great partnership that could represent a true reflection of me and my ideas and you know that wasn't happening."

High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens wore a black Mblem dress to the Palm Springs International Film Festival earlier this year.

Mandy's got an album coming out later this year titled "Amanda Leigh" which incidentally is what Mandy is short for. The more you know. *rainbow star*

"Sandcastle Disco" singer, and sister to Beyoncé, Solange decided to fight boredom by posting a jump-off video on her You Tube account. She and her friends wanted to see if they could jump as long as the guy in the Goldfrapp "Happiness" video. It's cute. Can't lie, jumping is fun.

Diddy on CSI: Miami

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In case you missed what's sure to be Diddy's Primetime Emmy Award winning performance as a high powered attorney on CSI: Miami last night, the nice peeps at Videogum have put together this little montage for you. Try to ignore the little smirk he can't get off his face, he's Diddy and he can smirk all he wants to. Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

Brigitte Nielsen

There's a 100% chance that absolutely no one was sitting around this morning saying "I wonder what that sexy blonde beast Brigitte Nielsen was up to last night?" but that doesn't stop her from going out and actually doing stuff. Namely, grossing me out.

Brigitte was at the Bondi Blonde Style Mansion party in Beverly Hills last night, kickin it on a bed with male models that were young enough to be her grandchildren. Male models who forgot their pants but somehow remembered to put shoes on. Male models who were luckily out of the line of sight of Brigitte's almost-upskirt.

The party was hosted by Katy Perry, but she wasn't showing her cleavage to anyone so we're not posting pictures of her.

Bondi Blonde is a low-carb beer from Australia which was launched in 2006. Brigitte apparently though it appropriate to give an interview on a velvet bed. Bondi Blonde apparently thought it appropriate to have a velvet bed at their party. They're keeping her off the street though, and that's public service enough.

chris brown

Chris Brown has pulled out of the NBS All-Stars this weekend. Chris was supposed to take part in the events in Phoenix, AZ on Sunday and was planning to play in a celebrity basketball game. Well not anymore. Seems like once you hit Rihanna, your life pretty much goes to hell.

"Chris Brown has withdrawn from NBA All-Star events," a rep told Usmagazine yesterday.

Is Chris Brown the only person in the world who hasn't heard of Ike and Tina Turner? Spoiler: she wins.

The Los Angeles County District Attorney’s office will be presented the case.

bar rafaeli

Israeli model Bar Refaeli has been named as the the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model. She'll be on David Letterman tonight to reveal the cover and probably talk a little about her main squeeze, Revolutionary Road actor Leonardo DiCaprio.

Where have you seen her before? In the ads for Diddy's fragrance "I Am King" and modeling for California clothing company Hurley. She's joining a list of super famous SI cover models that includes Tyra Banks, Marissa Miller and Elle Macpherson. Congratulations to Bar!

New Ladytron Music Video

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The official video for Ladytron's new single "Tomorrow" has been released, and it's very retro pretty. The Virgin Suicides meets What Dreams May Come meets The Monterey Bay Aquarium. Off the album "Velocifero", yay!

Ladytron- Tomorrow

Chris Brown in Lockdown

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christopher robin

Pop star Chris Brown was arrested just before the Grammy's in Los Angeles last night. The "Forever" singer allegedly had a domestic violence altercation with his pop star girlfriend Rihanna yesterday morning. Chris turned himself in to the police Sunday night, posted $50,000 bail and was then released. Spent a little over an hour in jail. He is due in court on March 5th.

Rihanna herself skipped the Grammy's last night as well. Though reports are that during the altercation that took place in Hancock Park he hit an "unidentified woman" peeps are speculating that Chris Brown actually hit Rihanna and then took off.

Honestly I'm surprised that she wasn't arrested for giving him the smackdown. That Doublemint Gum commercial has been getting on everyone's nerves, Rihanna surely can't be immune.

Katy Perry singing I kissed a Girl

Devil's Crotch Hot Sauce

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So, I've been noticing an increasing number of searches for Devil's Crotch Hot Sauce reaching this site.  I hate to say it, but the hot sauce itself does NOT exist!  Maybe some enterprising person WILL make one to capitalize on the movie's hype... but as far as I've been able to find out, no such sauce exists...

Here are my top 10 hilariously named hot sauces from Amazon.

 

10) PAIN 100% Hot Sauce

PAIN 100% Hot Sauce

This is the only sauce on the list that I've actually tried.  While it's moderately hot, i wouldn't say it was 100% pain.  Had a good taste and all... but I thought that the name was pretty funny, which is why I bought it.

 

 

 

9) Dave's Insanity Ghost Pepper Private Reserve 2009

Dave's Insanity Ghost Pepper Private Reserve 2009

 Yeah, so This sauce is made with not just any kind of pepper... The heat of this stuff comes purely from undead spectre peppers.  So hot that hell itself spat them back out to roam the land until being captured and put into this concoction.

 

 

8) Blair's After Death Sauce

Blair's After Death Sauce

Once again, we've got a sauce that deals with death.  I'm guessing that in this case, It burns until well... after death.  That's pretty hot considering that not even death will save you.

 

 

7) DA BOMB Ground Zero

DA BOMB Ground Zero

I think the point of this one... give it to someone you DON'T like and make sure you're nowhere near ground zero when it goes off.

 

 

6) Kick Yo Ass Hot Sauce

Kick Yo Ass Hot Sauce

This sauce goes right for the ass. I think that its clear from the title, you won't just suffer when its going in.

 

 

5) Whoop Ass Chipolte Fire Hot Sauce

Blair's After Death SauceWhoop Ass Chipolte Fire Hot Sauce

Ass and Fire.  Probably two things that make us squirm when we see them together in the same sentence.  I like this one more than "Kick Yo Ass" because it seems hotter. 

 

 

4) Ron's Nuckin Futs

Ron's Nuckin Futs

While this name doesn't seem terribly hot, I think its huckin filarious!

 

 

 

3) Elvis Hunka-Hunka Burning Love Hot Sauce

Elvis Hunka-Hunka Burning Love Hot Sauce

I'm not sure that there's anything that I can say about this title that doesn't say for itself...

 

 

2) Hot Bitch at the Beach Hot Sauce

Hot Bitch at the Beach Hot Sauce

I like the fresh direction that this sauce takes with its title.  Most other sauces have a lot of ass and poo play. This one makes me WANT to visualize its title.

 

 

1) Holy Shit Habanero Hot Sauce

Holy Shit Habanero Hot Sauce

I'm a big fan of the habanero. I'm sure this title lives up to its name.

Christian Bale Revisited

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This is probably beating a dead horse, especially after the actor has apologized for "Acting like a punk" on set.  Honestly, I don't see the big deal. Everyone has bad days. I would however, like to present this graph, showing what Christian Bale has accomplished:

 Christian Bale Rant, Fucks per minute

As you can see, only the documentary about the word "Fuck" itself exceeds the fpm of Bale's rant.

Governor Madmartigan

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val kilmer

It seems Val Kilmer wants to be the next governor of New Mexico. The Tombstone actor told the Associated Press "I'm just looking for ways to be contributive, and if that ends up being where I can make a substantial contribution, then I'll run."

Yahoo says he's got until next year to make a decision, as that's when current N.M. governor Bill Richardson term is up. Though he hasn't totally decided yet, Val's got a prediction for ya. "If I run, I'm going to be the next governor."

Governor Madmartigan? Hell yes! How awesome would it be to show up to a Val Kilmer for governor rally with a couple of handmade signs that said "Outta the way, Peck!" and "The greatest swordsman who ever lived!" Maybe a special appearance by Warwick Davis? If we're lucky.

Clementine Ford Is Gay

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Clementine Ford

In a shock to absolutely no one, actress Clementine Ford has come out of the closet via Diva magazine. Who? Cybil Shepard's daughter. Who? Molly from The L Word. Did anyone keep watching The L Word past season 3? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Oh my darling Clementine said "I never want to put a label on my self – but knowing that not everyone comes from such a liberal place, when something like Prop 8 comes out, you realize it’s important to stand up and be counted. A little gay kid in a small town is more important than whether I want a label."

The next cover she's on needs to be Make-Up Artist magazine in which the torrid tale of learning to apply proper eyeliner and mascara is told. Because gay or not, there's just no excuse for those raccoon eyes there, Clemmy.

salmah.jpg

In an interview with USA Today actress Salma Hayek mentioned that she breastfed another woman's baby while visiting the African country of Sierra Leone.

"The baby was perfectly healthy, but the mother didn't have milk. He was very hungry. I was weaning Valentina, but I still had a lot of milk that I was pumping, so I breast-fed the baby. You should have seen his eyes. When he felt the nourishment, he immediately stopped crying."

How did no one get a picture of this? That kid could live off the money shots like that would sell for. In completely unrelated news, ohsorad's own rl337 has been guzzling Nesquik and shouting "Viva La Leche!" out the window all morning.

stephen king

During an interview with USA Weekend to promoting his new book, The Shining author Stephen King slammed Twilight "author" Stephenie Meyer. When asked about the recent mainstream success of both Meyer and Harry Potter writer (and my personal hero!) J.K. Rowling, Stephen said:

"The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephanie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good."

It's funny because it's true. How anyone can get past 4 pages of that 4th grade level fan-fiction is beyond me. Have some self respect, readers. I suppose someone has to write for 13 year old girls, but there are plenty of young adult authors out there who don't make each and every chapter they write look like amateur hour. it's painful, and even more gross that Meyer is making so much money off of having no talent.

OK, be back in while. Gotta wash the disgust off. Gonna go grab a hot bath and start Goblet of Fire again!

Ahsley Judd is appearing in a new commercial for Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund in which she completely blasts former Republican Vice-Presidential nominee Sarah Palin. Ashley isn't too happy with the fact that Sarah endorses aerial wolf shootings in Alaska in order to keep the predator population under control. In fact, back in 2007 Sarah's administration approved an initiative to pay a bounty for peeps who brought in the legs of wolves they had killed, but a state judge ruled that she didn't have the authority to offer payments.

Scandalous!

Ashley wants you to go to eyeonpalin.org and "take action now." There you can fine a template for your kids to print out and send to Sarah as to why shooting wolves from planes is wrong. you know, in case your kids aren't too bright in the letter greeting department.

jon knight

Filed under Thanks Captain Obvious, the National Enquirer is "breaking" the story that the cutest member of New Kids On The Block, Jonathan Knight, is gay. I think the first sign was back in the 80's when he enlisted pop singer Tiffany as his tabloid beard, and the second, well he's way too pretty.

In case you didn't know, you don't got the right stuff. Step by step, you need to get out more. Keep hangin' tough.

In an interview with Jon's former lover, Brazillian model Kyle Wilker, Wilker stated "We had a wonderful relationship. I was in love with him and I believe he was in love with me".

I am a Harry Potter nerd. As such, the new teaser poster for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince does things to the inside of my pants that I am not at liberty to discuss. I have my Hogwarts Ravenclaw uniform all ready to go for July when this movie comes out, and I'd like to add that it was ready this past November when it was originally slated to come out, but whatever Warner Bros. Eat slugs.

hfbteaser.jpg

jewel

Singer and fake-boob-haver Jewel has just signed on for the newest season of ABC's Dancing With the Stars. She is joining confirmed contestant, actress and crazy bitch Denise Richards. The smart money is on Jewel at this point, but we'll see how it goes when the show premiers on March 9th.

In any case, she'll be able to hold up the costumes pretty well.

Jewel is performing tonight in Verona, New York at the Turning Stone Resort and Casino.

christopherguest.jpg

As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Well, really, that's all this is. Except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest -- how do you feel?

Happy birthday 61st birthday Christopher Guest!

brunette scar jo

Scarlett Johansson showed off her new brown hair at the Los Angeles premiere of her new film He's Just Not That Into You. I don't car if it's a mousy and looks straighter than Kelly Clarkson claims to be, it's cute on her. Really brings out the raspy in her voice, know what I'm sayin?

jude law in rage

Let's discuss Jude Law. Academy Award nominated actor, nanny humper, one of Heath Ledger's replacements in The Imaginaruim of Doctor Parnassus, father, Gigolo Joe from A.I., and now... cross dresser? Not really, it's just for a role in a film called Rage, directed by Sally Potter and also starring Steve Buscemi, Eddie Izzard, John Leguizamo and Judi Dench.

That's Jude there pictured above, strangely turning me on, dressed as his character Minx. Sally Potter says on her website "Jude Law, whose beauty has sometimes been held against him as an actor, made the courageous decision to accept the role of Minx - a "celebrity super-model" and took on a kind of hyper-beauty for this persona... a 'female' beauty which gradually unravels as the story unfolds."

Hopefully Sally will let Jude keep the wig. It should come in handy for the poor man's unfortunate receding hairline.

bonnaroo.jpg

Even though Langaredo Music Festival was canceled and Coachella in Southern California is going to kick lots and lots of ass, that doesn't stop Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival in Manchester, Tennessee from trying. The 2009 lineup was announced, and if you are a Bruce Springsteen fan (Mom, I'm looking at you!) then you are in luck.

I'm not sure what kind of crowd they are trying to attract with Phish, Nine Inch Nails, Snoop Dogg and Merle Haggard on the ticket, but hey, let's give them an A for effort. If you happen to be in Tennessee June 11-14, 2009, happen to have an extra $224.50 (plus fees!) laying around and happen to be a huge fan of eclectic lineups then, hey!, here you go.

Tickets go on sale Saturday February 7th.

http://www.bonnaroo.com/default.aspx

Full lineup after the jump.

lily allen

If you live in a cool city in North America, you will soon be able to cross "See Lily Allen Live" off your to-do list. Not if you live in Florida though, maybe next time guys! She has some tour dates listed on her myspace, and lucky me, she's coming to San Francisco. "The Fear" is so good, I can't stand it.

Apr 1 2009 -- House of Blues -- San Diego, California
Apr 3 2009 -- The Wiltern -- Los Angeles, California
Apr 4 2009 -- The Warfield -- San Francisco, California
Apr 6 2009 -- The Showbox SODO -- Seattle, Washington
Apr 8 200 -- The Venue -- Salt Lake City, Utah
Apr 9 2009 -- Ogden Theater -- Denver, Colorado
Apr 11 2009 -- First Avenue -- Minneapolis, Minnesota
Apr 12 2009 -- Vic Theater -- Chicago, Illinois
Apr 13 2009 -- St. Andrews Hall -- Detroit, Michigan
Apr 15 2009 -- Variety Playhouse -- Atlanta, Georgia
Apr 17 2009 -- 9.30 Club -- Washington DC
Apr 18 2009 -- Theater of the Living Arts -- Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Apr 19 2009 -- House Of Blues -- Boston, Massachusetts
Apr 20 2009 -- Roseland -- New York, New York
Apr 22 2009 -- Phoenix Concert Theatre -- Toronto, Ontario

langerado music festival

Sorry Miami. The 2009 Langerado Music Festival that was supposed to take place on March 6-8 this year has been canceled due to slow ticket sales. This was announced today, and it's probably karma for the bad economy, right imeem? Three day passes were selling from $120 to $150, but apparently peeps getting laid off just can't afford too many music festivals anymore. Maybe next year a bigger sponsor like myspace might be able to help save the weekend.

Miami still has plenty of sunshine and Dolphin cheerleaders, even if they don't have Death Cab for Cutie, Snoop Dogg, Public Enemy and Modest Mouse. Feel free to visit anyway.

There's not a whole lot to be said about Christian Bale's rant on the set of Terminator: Salvation that hasn't already been said, other than I admire the man's ability to just go right the hell off. No holds barred. "No don't just be sorry, think for one fucking second!" Dude, if American Psycho came up and called me a prick and yelled that I didn't fucking understand I think I'd die of a combination of fear and orgasmic delight. You can listen to the original audio here, but the dance remix fan vid embedded below is so, so, so much better. Enjoy.

Man I want to yell at someone now! Where the hell is that little twat Miley Cyrus?

battle of the smithsonian

The poster for the sequel to Night At The Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian has been released. Have you ever been to the Smithsonian? That place kicks so much ass it's really hard to say. Where else can you see Seinfeld's puffy shirt, the Hope Diamond, a T-Rex, John Lennon's childhood stamp collection book, the hat Lincoln was shot in and Neil Armstrong's space suit all in once place?

Oh yeah, the movie... well it's set at the Smithsonian, and that's good enough for me. Most of the original cast is returning, including Ben Stiller, Robin Williams, Owen Wilson and Mizuo Peck, and this time they'll be joined by Hank Azaria as Kah Mun Rah and Jonah Hill.

The trailer for your viewing pleasure:

billy corgan

Smashing Pumpkins have released a new song called "FOL" that is available for download if you still like the Pumpkins after the last stinky tour and want to give Billy Corgan your email. Careful though, he tends to whine.

This is the song that was in the Hyundai Super Bowl ad.

racist miley cyrus

There are quite a few things wrong with this picture of Miley Cyrus hanging out with her friends posted on a Miley Cyrus fan group on Live Journal today. The first is obviously that Hanna Montana is quite the little racist. That's her in the middle. Pulling your eyes back, what is this 4th grade? That jumped the shark with the Olympics, but I guess you wouldn't know that if all you did was hang out with your way-too-old-for-you boyfriend.

The second is that she seems to be hanging out with a self-hating AZN friend there. Why would you hang out with people who constantly make fun of your appearance? Could it be point number three...

The douchebag holding the wine glass. Miley does look a little tipsy, what I can see past her pulled back eyes. Or...

The disgusting amount of v-necks in the room. OMG, it's like a hipster barfed in there and threw up a racist tween pop star. The 7 Things I Hate About Destiny Hope just went up to 8. Gross little girl.

bong phelps

After British newspaper News of the World published a picture of Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps smokin the ganja in a pink and white striped room (eww!), it now seems like he's sorry. Or sorry for getting caught. He issued this statement to The Associated Press:

"I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I'm 23 years old and despite the successes I've had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again."

Michael was arrested for DUI in Maryland back in 2004, that time for alcohol. He stated at the time that it was an isolated incident. Technically he's correct, in that he only gets caught once and then moves on to something else. Looking forward to the Michael Phelps Peyote-induced police chase in early 2011!

Just a Thought...

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just_a_thought.jpg

erykah badu

Yesterday while people watched the Superbowl, "Bag Lady" singer Erykah Badu gave birth to a baby girl. The baby's father, rapper and producer Jay Electronica Twittered the announcement as well as some of Erykah's labor.

My daughter is ready. Labor has begun. Everybody standback. No hospitals. No doctors. No medicine. Were waiting on midwife to show up.

I’m doing foot squeezes and foot rubs when the contractions hit. Puma is rubbing her hands.

Ok… The midwife is here now and a few family members. Feels like a scene from the color purple.

She’s dialated to 8 1/2 centimeters.

Getting closer. She says she feels like she’s ready to push

Feb 1. 2009 my first child, my daughter was born at 1:30 pm exactly. Its the happiest day of my life

Puma is Erykah's 4 year old daughter with rapper The D.O.C. She also has a son, Seven Sirius, with Outkast's André 3000. This baby's name hasn't been revealed yet, but I'm sure all eyes are on Twitter for that update as well. Cross your fingers she and Jay Electronica spare you the visual of her dilated cervix ever, ever again.

Congratulations Erykah! Did someone call Tyrone?

I don't care much about football, but what I do care a lot about is syrup, carbonation and red cans full of deliciousness. So who won the Superbowl? Who was even playing, beats the hell out of me. This commercial for Coca-Cola won my heart, that's what matters.

Set to the tune of "Peter and the Wolf" by Sergei Prokofiev. Features all kinds of cute bugs.

Aubrey O'Day in Playboy

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A little something for the guys. According to I Don't Like You In That Way this is a teaser for the upcoming Playboy spread of former Danity Kane member Aubrey O'Day. If it is or not, I don't know, but what I do know is that my string pants have been missing for over a week and now I have a pretty good idea as to where they went. Hussy!

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